Uthman's Quran and the Zionist conspiracy to control Islam

Scholars are starting to question whether or not Mohammed really wrote the Quran.
According to the Hadiths, the Quran was written down on whatever was available when the revelations came, such as rocks, sheep skin and palm leaves.  The Quran was actually not compiled during Mohammed's lifetime.  This is evidenced by the fact that it is not in any sort of chronological order.

Muslims do get upset when someone burns copies of the Quran nowadays.  However, it is well known that Uthman, who is credited for compiling the Quran, was also the first Quran burner, for the stated reason of trying to unify the various readings of the Quran in his time.  What is less well known is that he was a Zionist conspirator. 

Evidence for this includes that Uthman had a long nose and black hair, plus his name follows the characteristic Jewish pattern for last names, ending in "man".